In Remembrance: Dr Holly Dugan

Dr Holly

 

With a maelstrom of emotions, I have to announce that our beloved friend, mentor and inspiration Dr Holly passed away today, Thursday 28th April, at around 2:30 pm.

Holly had a sudden and rapid cancer, but died peacefully with little discomfort. It seems to have been based in the large intestine, but by the time it was diagnosed, it had spread to most of the adjacent organs. No course of treatment was offered as practical.

Dr Holly started this Little Bangkok Sangha project with me in 2007, and was always a stable supporter for all our activities, and a very loved figure everyone could relate to.

With an email 10 days ago on April 18 titled “Tough news I have to share” she wrote,

Although I have told no one until now, I’ve been going through a series of icky tests at BUMrungrad and the results are very bad. indeed. I would like to see you to give you the Little Bangkok Sangha funds and to say goodbye. You know, I’m not sure I want to have to say goodbye to everyone, so please keep it quiet for now. We can talk about how to do something.

As it is, I am grateful that I didn’t feel worse before now, because I have a cancer that looks like a whirling globe of fire, burning everything next to it. If they colored up the CAT scan, it could be psychodellic. It’s the power of denial that has fed my delusion that I am a healthy person. And enabled me to ignore quite a number of symptoms. Not that I wouldn’t die. The terminal aspect of the diagnosis is a great comfort in many ways. I am prepared (to my amazement).

She certainly was ready. Her final practise was ‘EQUANIMITY’ and she certainly kept this up, taking care to comfort those of us around her who seemed to find it more difficult to deal with than she. She looked me right in the eye, said she’d appreciated knowing me, and asked if I had a last message for her!

 

We really wanted to give people chance to send her a last message, but it was so swift … Still she knew how people thought of her. She had chance to be mindful, prepared and sort through finances and funeral arrangements. Holly was definitely ready, and faced her last days with the same toughness and joy as she had lived her life by. She had relatively few symptoms and died clear minded without discomfort. She was 70 years old.

Her sister Heather was with her in the final week, her nephew and a couple of others.

My sincere apologies for informing those of you who new and loved her this way. I’d like to have given you special notice … but its pretty hard on me too, losing my dearest friend.

The funeral will be at Wat Taht Thong, on Ekkamai BTS station (map below). She will be in Sala 10 Sala 2 on Saturday, and then Sala 3 every day following. Everyone is welcome to go and pay respects. Some of the evenings, around 7pm there might be some chanting, and we will try to arrange the funeral for Friday 6th or Saturday 7th have arrranged the funeral for Saturday 7th, at 10 am. Full schedule of funeral events is here.

If you can, do leave a message in the comments below – it will be nice to let her relatives in the US know how much she was loved and valued here in Bangkok.

Pandit Bhikkhu

Here’s the last video recording of our great friend:

Baan Aree 2007 - when we started Littlebang.

Offering thanks on behalf of the Sangha

In 2007, at Baan Aree

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78 Responses to In Remembrance: Dr Holly Dugan

  1. Cittasamvaro says:

    I tried to send SMS to everyone, but not sure how many got sent …

  2. Lee Bron says:

    Dr. Holly was such a joy to be around .. she had such a sparkle of enthusiasm for life & always had something interesting to share at all our meetings. I was looking forward to seeing her again soon & sharing my thoughts with her. I greatly valued her opinion. She will be missed.

  3. Cittasamvaro says:

    Looking for a home for her two cats also!

    The cats are being looked after by someone Holly appointed to the task, so they are fine for the time being until good homes can be found for them.

    • Jennifer G says:

      Oh Pandit. No matter how much one cultivates annica and all those other great Buddhist precepts, losing a dear friend is still painful. Her letter informing you of the cancer encapsulates her essence: humorous, no nonsense, loving, quirky, intelligent and brutally honest. For her sake I’m glad it all happened quickly and relatively painlessly.

      If I remember correctly (always a big IF these days), I last spoke with her at that Mai Kai Dee lunch. I asked her about the Buddhist Psychos (the title is so Holly) and her description made it sound nonthreatening and definitely appealing. I’m only sorry I never got around to attending

      How old are her cats? My good friends Jock and Annie recently lost the last of a pair of cats who died aged around 18 years. I imagine they’d probably prefer a pair of kittens but you never know.

      I’ll keep a lookout for the funeral details. I guess this delays your travel plans.

    • Jun says:

      I have a farang friend who works for an NGO called SCAD Bangkok (Soi/Street Cats & Dogs of Bangkok) who might be able to find a new home for the cats (their shelter is full at the moment). Please provide infos such as sex, age, color, breed, neutered, as much as you know. I’m so sorry about Holly. I only had the pleasure to get to know her recently.

  4. Paul S says:

    On her graceful passing Holly’s smiles and witty commentary will be sorely missed from our meetings, Annapurna lunches and everywhere by everyone.

  5. Too soon! I want another conversation! Holly, you were a good friend and an inspiration, always ready for an adventure with a sparkle in your eye. You deserve much credit for Little Bang and it will never be the same without you. I am glad you went quickly and did not have to suffer greatly. Your memory will live on within us. Thank you.

  6. Pearl Vongpusanachai says:

    I couldn’t bring myself to read her letter. It was a pleasure to have met her, even though I am not fortunate enough to know her better. I hope her cats are being taken care of, as I understand they are her love. I believe she is in a better place.

  7. Jabu says:

    I’m heartened that Holly had her family with her as she passed on. May her journey be peaceful and may her soul find continued comfort in the thoughts and prayers of those she leaves behind.

  8. Nok says:

    Sorry to hear this sad news. I used to see Holly regularly at Kundalini yoga classes on Sunday. Always enjoyed our deep conversations together. I will be away on 6-10 May so won’t make it to her funeral. But would like to attend the evening chanting so would appreciate if you could keep me posted on schedule.

  9. David Greason says:

    Beings like Holly are rare. Holly’s good Kamma is reflected in all who knew her, not only in the sadness that her passing brings, but also in the smiles, triggered by memories, that will rise over and over again on the faces of those whose lives she touched, however brief or long the touches may have been.

    I am fortunate to have shared some moments with Holly over the last few years. Her smile, sardonic yet compassionate wit, her interest to learn, grow and share in the Dhamma and her incredible generosity to LittleBang, the Buddhist Psychos and to all of us who passed in and out of the door of her life will be the vibrations of her good Kamma that will resonate in my life. I am grateful that her Kamma was such that she was able to have awareness and make good use of her Wisdom, Compassion and Equanimity as she passed from this life.

    May Holly be free of Mental Dukkha;
    May she be free of Physical Dukkha;
    May she find Inner Peace and Contentment;
    May Holly be able to lead herself to the ending of all Dukkha.

  10. Cindy Stewart says:

    Holly was my best travelling buddy. She had such an enthusiastic spirit of adventure and made each trip so much fun, whether we went to places near or far. I was looking forward to more adventures with her in Burma and other places we hadn’t yet visited. I will miss her so very much.

  11. Tony Macgregor says:

    What a shock! She seemed so vibrant and alive and cheerful the last time I saw her when I interviewed her for a video podcast on health and Buddhism. It’s hard to believe she could have gone so quicKly.

    She was kind-hearted, warm and generous. I really enjoyed being around her. It was entirely consistent with her personality for her to get involved in the Little Bangkok Sangha, a group which has brought comfort and peace to many seekers in the city.

    The world is definitely a little better place for her being here. Can any of us as for anything more than that?

  12. Milos Bang says:

    Thank you Pandit for informing us and publishing a part of her email. She dealt with death the way she lived – with grace, honesty and humor. This is a true inspiration and I will miss her so much.

    Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

  13. Jan Glorieux says:

    Dear Holly,

    Thank you for the wisdom and the love
    you gave.
    You were a master in listening deeply without judging, and always there with
    ‘a twinkle in your eye’.
    I adored your wilder side, your irreverence,
    your stories about John Water movies.
    You were a lot of fun.

    Thank you for the book you gave me,
    now I realize why you didn’t want it back.

    I am grateful and honored to have known you.
    Jan

  14. billzant says:

    What a surprise, she always seemed so alive. I am happy that her parting was “peacefully with little discomfort”. Please pass on my condolences to her family, she was a good person to have known.

  15. Philip Cornwel-Smith says:

    This is a shock and sad loss. I encountered Holly yesterday walking in our neighbourhood and it’s tribute to her remarkable fortitude that she could continue life so ably and clearheadedly under such sudden and challenging circumstances.

    I’m glad her nephew Jack was able to be around all this week. I can now understand his distracted mood compared to previous visits. My heart goes out to him and their family, and to those who knew Holly well.

    I am so impressed by her attitude to illness and it seems clear that her Little Bang colleagues have had a hand in her admirable mindfulness. It seems Holly started to rest in peace before she passed on and that’s the best we could all hope for.

  16. Deb says:

    Did not see this one coming. Dr. Holly’s time in BKK so very very important! Her gift, in Partnership with Phra Pandit, of bringing Buddhism to the english speaking masses here in the heart of Thailand… a gift that will keep on giving THANK YOU Holly!

  17. Andy Lowe says:

    I am very deeply shocked and full of grief after hearing this very sad news. At the same time I am also very grateful to have known Dr Holly. When ever she entered a room or engaged in conversation the atmosphere lightened, the mood became more relaxed and joyful. She died as she lived full of grace.

  18. Mike Adair says:

    What a shock! Thank you for letting us know. I have been in Canada since October and was very much looking forward to her bright energy when I returned. So sad but such a great joy to have known her. She is in my meditation with all who knew her. with metta, Mike

  19. sujata says:

    Dear Holly
    Thanks for being a wondeful friend and hope u can hear me still
    sujata

  20. Nima Chandler says:

    Holly will be remembered most fondly by all of us in her neighborhood that had the chance to get to know her over the years. Please do let Jack know that if he needs anything, all he needs to do is ask.

  21. Jo Stevens says:

    My friend, How lovely to have had you in my life. I will miss exchanging books with you, our great conversations, glasses of wine and all the laughter we shared. Thank you for being a true friend.

  22. mc brigitte says:

    its sad to hear – but good to know that she could go with equanimity – what else could we wish for her and ourselves in such situation?
    right now i am in zurich but hope i can make it to the funeral.
    mc brigitte

  23. Bow says:

    My deepest sorry to hear that. She is such a warm and full of Metta lady.

    I gonna miss you Holly. Sorry that I can’t come.

    Regards from London

    Bow

  24. noky20049 says:

    I’m also sorry to hear of this. I often saw her smiling face when I joined in Littlebang ‘s Dharma activities. By our conversations, I think – She’s a smart lady with so friendly.

    R.I.P Dr. Holly.
    ~Anatta~

  25. Andrew Lai says:

    Thank you Dr Holly for everything you did. You have beautiful smiles in those photos.

    May you have a happy rebirth where you’ll be surrounded by Dhamma and good friendship.

  26. Thanks, Holly, for the lunch, the talks, the margaritas at Coyotes. And thanks for the message.

  27. Dara Carballo says:

    Sadhu, her earthly temporary body has left us but her Chitta has already gone into another universe. That’s what Dhamma teaches us – everything is impermanent. Nevertheless, we will always remember her smile full of metta. Sadhu Sadhu Sadhu

  28. Kirsten says:

    Such a sad thing to hear of Holly’s passing. Really a shock, and she will be terribly missed in so many ways. I don’t think it has quite sunk in for me yet that she’s gone. I’m afraid there’s going to be a Holly-shaped hole in life for a long while. She was so warm and spunky and sharp and wise and great of heart. Although I can’t help feeling that it was much too soon for her to go, I’m glad she didn’t suffer for long and that she died clear-minded and with equanimity.

    Dear Holly, you were a friend and a mentor, a great pal in good times and a helper and a teacher when things were difficult, and I will hold you in my memory as an inspiration, particularly to carpe the old diem — to have those adventures and make the right efforts. Thank you for your friendship. It was a privilege to know you.

  29. Nui says:

    I have been utterly shocked by the news and had to give myself some time to let my heart absorb the truth. Since I have been traveling abroad, there has been no greater fear than the loss of the older loved ones. Holly, along with my older relatives, have been in my everyday thoughts for this reason. Her departure reminds me of the highest truth I learn from Dharma; nothing is permanent (it’s never been this difficult).

    As a younger member of the group I’d like to let Holly and Phra Pandit know that I have been enjoying and benefiting enormously from her legacy, Littlebang Sangha. Holly had done such an imment work that she might have not even realised how much it had changed my life. Since I never got a chance to let her know… I’m telling her now believing that she is hearing me.

    I want to live my life like Holly did, not in the same way but she had set a really cool example of how to live your life. I want to die like Holly did, knowing that you’ll die in 10 days is a perfect amount of time to prepare the final momentum for someone who’s lived a life fully.. I’m sure she had a real great 10 days retreat, before transcending to another higher realm.

    I love you Holly, and will definitely pass on your legacy to whoever want to join our path. One day we will reunite.

  30. Jamie Reinhardt says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about this! Holly was such a great lady! How true what they say, death is real and comes without warning. Lots of love and brilliant wisdom for her transition through the bardo. Jamie & Tu

  31. Rex says:

    Tears for Holly and her family. Sad news it is.

    Anicca, Anicca, Anicca – as much as I learn to embody these ideas it’s still painful to loose someone so beautiful. I have the fondest memories of Holly. Always so cheerful! A true model and mentor of the path to luminosity and vibrancy. She will be sorely missed by myself and so many others.

    Holly played a helpful role getting me on my new life path. I recall her kindness over tea one day in Siam Square – she listened to my concerns (a true therapist) and shined her wisdom on my questions. She helped me into the ABAC Psychology Department. My current school (California Institute of Integral Studies) was her alma mater! She offered her encouragement and advice about both institutions.

    My deepest gratitude dear Holly. Blessings. Rest in peace, Rex

  32. Georges says:

    I feel a profound sadness at the terrible news of holly’s passing away. I so much looked forward to seeing her again when I would come back to Bkk that it is hard to imagine that I will not meet again this wonderful friend. I will miss for a long time her wit, kindness and intelligence. Such a loss. Best wishes to Jack, who played such a role in her last years, and all her friends. Georges

  33. Ann Kneeland says:

    My name is Ann, and I am Holly’s niece (Jack’s sister and Heather’s daughter). What an outstanding gift this website is. A spectacular tribute to Holly – her kindness, her generosity, her wisdom and her humor. I am so grateful to be able to see her as she was in her joyful moments, especially since I had not seen her since my visit to Bangkok in December 2006. Thanks to you all, especially Pandit. As you all know, we have loss a one-of-a-kind woman. She will be missed and will always bring a big smile when remembered. Peace.

    • Pandit says:

      I am so glad you got to see our tribute Ann. Holly was extraordinarily loved here in Bangkok and touched a lot of lives. I am happy you know that she did not pass away unnoticed in a corner of Asia. Many people have offered messages and we will have a fitting service for someone so important to so many.
      Pandit Bhikkhu

  34. Matt says:

    Shine on, Dr. Holly. You left as surely as you lived– with perfect equipoise and grace. Until we meet again: you will not be forgotten.

  35. Lucia Gehrke says:

    She is smiling and knows how loved she is and will always be. I can see her smile flashing back at me as she takes off side saddle on a Thai motorcycle taxi. So brave and inspiring she was to all who knew her. I am going to miss you Holly. My daydreams of bringing my girls on their first trip to Thailand to visit you and going from Wat to Wat are shattered, as am I. I miss you. I wish I could say it one more time that I love you. You inspired me to do more and be more than I thought I could be. I am filled with so many wonderful memories of you. I will NEVER forget you. I will celebrate you for all my years. Thank you Holly. Thank you for giving me so much to remember you by. I will look for you in all the faces of beauty I see from this moment forth. I will bring my daughters to Thailand and take them to all the place we went together and show them all that your showed me. I will cherish you, and impart that admiration to my girla. Love, love, love to you. At peace in a right wing free place I am sure.
    My best to all who knew and love Holly. Jack, Jo, Eddy, Jason, Happy, Piper, etc., you are in my thoughts.

  36. Elizabeth Turner Gehrke says:

    I knew Holly my whole life. as her mother and my mother were best friends. We were together alot as kids but truly reconnected later in life when I lived in California, married, with 3 daughters and she would breeze thru. Always hilarious, gracious, fun, kind, very, very smart. could go on and on. the times we had stateside were brief, but always adventuresome and full of quirky fun.

    Soon after the Tsunami, Lucia and I went to Thailand, and hooked up with Holly and Hammond. We stayed in BKK a few days and had a wonderful time. again, Holly was so funny and helpful and loving – but mainly I remember uproarious conversations even while we were in full party mode.

    Later Lucia stayed in Thailand and she and Holly had wonderful times together. Holly referred to her as her niece and they were fun and loving pals together in the City.

    A very, very unique individual – yes, she will be missed and obviously, she was very, very loved. Special condolences to Jack (we could tell when we were in BKK that she loved you so!), Heather, Happy and Piper.

  37. Lyle says:

    Holly helped me get through the pall of the Dubya years. She always found something to laugh about no matter how dark things seemed. I shall miss our leisurely lunches during which we ate and drank well, laughed a lot, solved all the world’s problems, and basically tackled life, the universe, everything. If it hadn’t been for Holly, I wouldn’t have sat through Avatar four times🙂 For whom will I search for kaleidoscopes when I travel, now that Holly’s no longer here to enjoy them? Well, she’s here but no longer in a form which kaleidoscopes can serve. I will think of her every time I enter Kinokuniya, see Rachel Maddow or Keith Olbermann, eat Thanksgiving turkey, tuck into a laugen croissant, and go anywhere near her Sesame Street and Soi Ruam Rudee. There’s more but my brain is numb, so I’ll stop here. I feel lucky to have known Holly, a brilliant, compassionate, plucky, witty, inquisitive, adventurous person.

  38. Heidi Rechteger says:

    I am shocked and grieved to hear of the passing of my dear pal Holly. She was my boss at the the community mental health center where we worked in Los Angeles, but became much more than that: my clinical mentor, my teacher and one of my very dearest friends. She had a peerless wit, the best sense of humor of anyone I have ever known and a deep and sincere humanity and concern for others. She was one in a million. The lives of all whom she touched are enriched for just having known her. I will miss her terribly.

  39. James says:

    This is very shocking and sad news. Dr. Holly’s strength/attitude in face of the cancer is very inspiring. She was always cheerful and thoughtful during the time I knew her in Bangkok, and I looked forward to getting to know her better. She will be missed.

  40. Marcia Craig-Smith says:

    What you have taught me through your example of kindness, compassion,wit and uniqueness will always live in my heart and mind spirit. You have inspired me beyond words and I will always remember you gratefully.
    Namaste forever,
    Marcia

  41. Cittasamvaro says:

    Message to our Sangha via Brian:
    I just spoke with Holly’s nephew, Jack Kneeland, and he asked me to write a few words on behalf of the family.

    They wanted to express their deep gratitude to Little Bang for arranging the remembrance ceremonies. They loved Holly very deeply and her passing has not been easy on them. It is has been very meaningful for them to see that others loved Holly as well.

    Jack and Holly’s sister, Heather, were with her over the last days, and while there were occasions for tears, there were even more occasions for laughter. This was a testament to how prepared Holly was and her ability to maintain equanimity even under such difficult circumstances.

    The family hopes that Holly will be remembered as a wonderful person who had a happy life and loved the time she spent with the people she knew in Bangkok.

    As you can imagine, Jack and Heather are exhausted. Heather, who is also Jack’s mother, flew from Old Lyme, Connecticut on one day’s notice. They will be spending time together over the next few days convalescing after a very difficult week. They wanted to express their regret at not being able to attend all of the ceremonies and hope that this is not mistaken for indifference.

    In fact, the family is deeply moved by the kind and important efforts that so many beautiful people have made first to help Holly go to her death without suffering, sadness, or regrets, and second to complete the rituals that will send her on her way and bring the rest of us together.

    Members of the family will attend the ceremony at the Temple on Saturday the seventh of May, and look forward to sharing that moment with all of you

  42. bevan says:

    my thoughts are with you Bhante and with the Sangha as a whole. She will be missed. Be strong.

  43. Bon Jour Holy Holly,

    Word has it that you have packed your spiritual bag and have shipped out on exciting adventure.
    All of us cherished you during your years with us here in Bangkok. Your easy manner, soft-spoken voice and graceful movements—a true dancer you are—have drawn us to you. Indeed, your presence has been a present to us. Your infectious smile is also something we remember you by.
    One Buddhist word that captures you essence for many of us is metta metta metta—you are endowed with loving kindness known as metta metta metta.
    Your bearing has a regal quality. Lo and behold, now your bearing has a celestial quality.
    Holy Holly, we love you.

  44. JacQues and Oraphan Kord says:

    Totally shocked, surprised, and personally saddened to receive the news of Doctor Holly’s passing—Quite unexpected. Truly a very meaningful loss to the Sangha, collectively, and to each of us individually. A blessed deliverance from the clutches of dukkha for our beloved Sister Holly.
    She has been a model for all of us to emulate. While living on this Earthly Plane, she demonstrated unconditional love, unselfish service, courage and so many more examples of good, Right Actions while traveling her Noble Path. She smiled warmly and laughed a lot. We are certain that she now occupies a beautiful birth/berth in the Heavenly Realms.
    It was our pleasure to meet and know you. Until we meet again, THANK YOU Holly!
    With Profound Metta,
    JacQues and Oraphan

  45. kanjana says:

    R.I.P.
    May I share all merits that I have done to you, Dr. Holly. Thank you for your friendship and smiles.
    With metta,

  46. DR.Parvathy Varma says:

    I am shocked to hear this news. This is not the moment for us to shed our tears but we should all be thankful that we were given the chance to have known Dr. Holly Dugan who is a very special person. Dr. Holly was remarkable in many ways. I have known her for the past 8 years, when she joined Assumption University. She had always taken life so easy. She lived her life to the full and touched so many people’s lives during her time with us. We had a great time working together. She always enjoyed the ride with me to Onnut BTS after the meetings. Our discussions were mostly on Indian culture, traditions and the food. We all have pleasant memories that we will always carry with us , memories that we will always hold dear.
    Prayers
    Parvathy

  47. Marcus says:

    Just heard the news from Rubby. Holly was a wonderful person and her passing is a terrible loss to Littlebang and, I’m sure, to so many others. She’ll be much missed. She showed me great kindness and I was priviledged to know her. May she be – and I am sure she is – in a place of great peace, joy, and happiness.

    Marcus

  48. Jan Favre says:

    I see in Dr. Holly a very positive personality, I had the prevelege to meet during my life. Some of her spirit will continue to live in me. Being still in Switzerland, I won’t be able to be present at her funeral. However, if one day, merit making will be organized on her behalf, I hope being able to participate.

  49. Timo Ojanen says:

    Dr. Holly was my thesis advisor at Assumption University and given her openness the relationship also became a friendship, through the years it took me to complete the thesis. Whether as advisor or friend, she was ever so cool.

    Just like most others, I didn’t have a clue she wasn’t well. I’d also thought she was some 15 years younger than she was…

  50. Piper Barnard says:

    I am Holly’s daughter, Piper. I can’t tell you how much her family in the US appreciates Pandit, Heather, Jack, and all of the wonderful comments you’ve made about my Mom. We’ve been unable to see to write through our tears until now. Her sister, Happy and I are devastated, but so comforted that she made a life in Thailand with people who loved her. We are eternally grateful. Thank you.

  51. chitra says:

    I have worked with Dr. Holly in Assumption University. It has been a very lively, memorable experience. She has helped me in arranging talks, seminars, etc….But its quite some time I met her…I will be missing her very much. I am still waiting for her reply for my email sent early March…

  52. rubbyalvarez says:

    Already missing you, Hollyta!

  53. Vera Mattos says:

    I’m so surprised to hear this sad news, Dr. Holly was an example of a quiet dynamism, despite the little contact we had, I always looked at as a role model of how aging harmoniously.
    I am abroad right now, but I will be back by Saturday and will attend the funeral.

    0.

  54. Just met Holly once, briefly, but was delighted to experience her bright light. All is well.

  55. Monina says:

    A message from Monina:
    I am saddened by the news of Dr. Holly’s death. i used to attend the dharma talks in bangkok till i left bangkok to return home in September last year. i knew of her from those sessions. i will be unable to bid her farewell but i send my prayers. best regards to all at littlebang, mia aquino

  56. Deb says:

    just returned home from Wat Taht Tong, wonderful fellowship tonight, oh, and the flowers from Holly’s school friends showed up during chanting.. a nice addition to the beauty of the gathering. Rest assured, Holly is still building positive merit for her future!!

  57. Savior says:

    Just opened the Little Bang website and read…¨in remembrance…Dr Holly Dugan¨…HOLY GOSH !! Now you see her, now you won’t ! . A jolting reminder of impermanence…and of bells or gongs tolling for thee…

    Since I take it she won’t be attending the next Buddhist Psychos meeting, this fellow clinician shall oblige her admonition : be there or be analyzed ! . Briefly : Holly chose to engage in pursuits related to her training in psychology and partake of the Dhamma for as long as she could, aware that her clock was ticking loudly. She used both assets in tandem to open doors, eyes, and bottles… in this particular order: she would be standing by the gate, in her usual helpful, personable, unassuming attitude to meet old members and beckon in new ones; she would then offer ice-breaking and substantial contributions during the meetings; at the end she would be the first to invite people to go for drinks to take the discussion farther and widen friendships. She loved this life to the extent of coddling its beyond, a task for which she found the Dhamma to be eminently suitable.

    Holly embodied a Boddhisatva spirit leaving the particular part of the world we shared a better place. She may well be back to Samsara in the same spirit as there is plenty left here to improve. Be as it may, her greatest contribution may well have been to have made the crossing-over a less daunting one, both on account of her graceful departure and of the expectations we may now harbor about a Holly(esque) — ( Buddhist Dhamma dixit )– welcome on the other side.

    With thanks and metta ( and damp eyes ).

    Savior

  58. Margot says:

    What a shock. I received the news of Dr. Holly’s death this morning here in Oregon (USA). I had the good fortune to be one of Dr. Holly’s students at ABAC’s Graduate School of Psychology. She was a wonderful professor who also had a deep interest in the lives of her students.

    After my move to the US, I only once met her again during one of my visits to Bangkok. Through some amazing stroke of luck, I spent the best part of a day with her and still carry wonderful memories of her wit and warmth. I had hoped to meet her again in Bangkok in August 2011 but sadly this is not to be.

    I am grateful that I got to know such a compassionate and passionate woman. I am also grateful that she moved on to her next destiny without undue suffering. I wish I could attend the funeral rites and cremation, but I am just too far away. However, I intend to make a donation on Dr. Holly’s behalf at one of our local cat rescue organizations.

    With thanks and Metta ~ Margot

  59. Louisa Dugan says:

    Holly, I was just asking about you in a conversation with my sister about a week after Easter; why had we heard nothing of you and your doings in Thailand. (Could you have sent me the thought that your time would be soon?) Your pictures defy any illness at all and only prove your happiness in a lovely place, and with a culture receptive to all your many interests and psychology practice, putting your whole self in. I am sorry this is a good bye message and not an hello one. Namaste.

  60. Jennifer Dugan says:

    I’m so saddened to hear of Holly’s passing-my heart is full to the brim for all who knew and loved her. She was truly a remarkable woman- I met her as a fiesty teen who wanted little to do with a new “step-mother”, and she met me with a quiet grace I think I finally learned to accept on a visit to LA around the age of 35. ROCK the Heavens Holly!

  61. Steven Parmenter says:

    Whilst I unfortunately didn’t really get to know Dr. Holly terribly well, I am indebted to her, and the other founder members of the Little Bang group, for bringing the Little Bangkok Sangha together for the benefit of those of us with an interest in Buddhism and for whom English is a more expressive medium of communication.

    May her passing be a reminder to us all that our life is but transitory.

    Good luck Holly!

  62. Boonyathorn K says:

    I have been to the Little Bang gatherings but have never had the opportunity to actually talked to Dr. Holly. I regret now that I did not. May we all have the capability to have lived and died as gracefully as the good Dr.

  63. Parinda says:

    I am very sorry to hear this news. I often think about our yoga and chichi brunch on Sunday morning and thought I would catch up with you–Holly–for that as soon as I get back to Bangkok.😦 I am proud of the time we spent together and I have learnt a lot from you. You introduced me to several things in life that have left significant remarks on me today. And, perhaps, this way you will always be with me, Holly. Love,
    Parinda

  64. Christine says:

    I just found out. I will miss her greatly. She was a kindred spirit. Be free now, dear friend.

  65. Edwin Sundareson says:

    Holly was a happy soul. We first met her when she was in California. We have fond memories of her on her house boat, with the sun setting on the water, and Fireworks during the Fourth of July, and the decorated Christmas light boat parades during Christmas. She had a great attitude about life. She was always so easygoing and pleasant. We should all be so lucky to have the same demeanor and attitude about life. She always made the best of everything and was easy going and positive about everything. She will truly be missed. I can still see her smiling face and hear her laugh. She had a sparkle about her that made everyone feel at ease and happy to be around her. I hope her spirit lives on!

  66. Cittasamvaro says:

    All links related to Dr Hollly are now in one place : http://littlebang.org/2011/05/10/dr-holly-all-the-links/

    So happy for all the comments and tributes… although words cannot express.

    in 13 days since making this post, it has been viewd 1200 times.

  67. Cittasamvaro says:

    Note from Rae G., a regular ‘Littlebanger’ when he is in Bkk escaping the Canadian winter:
    I was shocked today to learn of Dr.Holly’s passing…..She gave so much to our sangha. I will always remember the love and joy she extended to all of us as well as her alert mind, and spirit of fun.During the cool season, I tutored a friend studying an internet tourism course. It required a creditable person to supervise the exam. I mentioned this to Dr.Holly. She readily volunteered and did so around the last week of March. Nuchalee,who is essentially self educated was very nervous about having a professor with a doctorate supervise her test, but Dr.Holly’s warm and caring personality put her at ease almost immidiately. It’s this warmth and caring that I will always remember when I think of Dr.Holly.

    Rae Gilman
    Prince Edward Island, Canada

  68. Pandit says:

    We will have a memorial (chanting, buffet, dhamma talk) in honour of Holly and her contribution to our group and Bangkok, on 16th June. All are welcome.

  69. Kru Nid @ Kru Odd says:

    Dr.Holly,
    I feel very shocked to know this. Many of my friends say we look the same like we are twins though we have different nationalities. My family and I are very happy and warm when being with you. I feel like I lost something precious. I really miss you and so sorry with this. Rest in peace, my beloved friend.

  70. Louie reisser says:

    I am so glad to see this wonderful remembrance of my dear friend Holly. It is very comforting. If you wish, i will post puctures of Holly when she lived in Baltimore and worked at Hopkins.
    Thank you for this.

  71. Stacey Vance Cermak says:

    Holly was my field supervisor at Hopkins Bayview. I was starting my MSW program. I had no idea where I was headed, what I wanted to do with my life, and Holly was just what I needed. I watched her bring cheer and spunk into the homes of elderly homebound patients. She helped me find the good Baltimore eats and loved to gossip over lunch. She convinced me not to sweat the small stuff. I just went searching for her and found this amazing collection of memories and stories. I didn’t know she has passed, but then, I had lost touch when she moved to California. I feel so fortunate to have known her.

    • Cittasamvaro says:

      How wonderful that we can put these memories and comments up, and that her old friends can look her up. Thanks for letting us hear from you.

  72. Marina Gladkova says:

    Dear Holly, you are my first friend who passed away.
    I remember how we met at the lecture of prof. Stahl. in Chulalongkorn university in 2006. I sat on the opposite side of the table. But in the break I came to sit next to you because something drew me to you. So our friendship had started. What is now Bangkok without you?
    With metta,
    Marina
    Saint-Petersburg, Russia

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